I have to check and see what I’m paying for this blog, if anything. As much as I’ve read I’m still in the dark about owning my own domain, etc. Watching my stupid TV disconnect itself from the wifi I have little tolerance for these things I just start pushing buttons or disconnecting cords until it works. Since I’m old and recently retired I’ve joined the ranks of the cord cutters; should have done it sooner but now I have time to jerk around with all the idiosyncrasies of the platforms; I watch about 2 hours of programming a night max – usually HGTV or or DIY. I don’t like movies (no attention span) and spend a lot of time online reading news, food blogs and looking up words, places and spaces. TV is mostly for the husband.

This was only meant to be a diary of sorts, don’t think anyone would care to read my ramblings and that’s no longer any sort of goal. Maybe a couple of decades ago when the interwebs were catching on and I thought I had something to share.

I do have a kick ass digital file of recipes that I’ve kited from every esteemed blogger, magazine, food personality and all the recipes I’ve culled from 40 years of work potlucks. My older posts have lots of food references. Ironically, I cook and bake more now than ever. And yes, I bake all our bread.

I currently have yet another back crap-out, either a ruptured disc or a collapsed vertebra. End of week 2, some improvement; I can get out of the bed now but turning is still an issue – have to log-roll and I don’t always remember while I’m sleeping. My back is shit – looks like swiss cheese on x-ray, advanced osteoporosis but in the past I’ve been able to heal enough to tear it up in the garden and until now, the 3 stories of my house. All storage is either in the attic or basement. My kitchen is a 5 x 10 galley and I have tons of cooking implements and food items, none of which fit in the kitchen. Much cast iron.

Recently had oral surgery x3 – abscesses and bone infection caused by Prolia and my history so I have a large cavern in my jaw that draws every morsel of food into it. May have had a bit of medical mismanagement as I have a history of salivary gland CA with radiation Tx. I had concerns about the Prolia treatment and voiced them but apparently not strongly enough. Waah waah waah.

My point – so much real suffering happening – bad sickness, loss of job, money, human life so I feel shitty about whining but this stuff hurts and is worrisome. Not to mention trying to stay covid-free.

But so far I have a house I can still pay for, food, family I can still be with – a GREAT election outcome so I won’t allow any self-pity. I busy myself with my food and nit-picking. Since I have 8 more hours in each day at home I find myself even less tolerant of little items on the floor and on my counters. I don’t even care anymore if I’m obsessively vacuuming and wiping. My house is 90+ years old and I have a ton of wonderfully curated tchotchkes in every room/wall/floor/corner. As the sun moves around during the day the floor and surfaces show me things I missed in the morning that need attention i.e. removing. Certain areas demand absolute order, others can be totally derelict. IDK but it no longer matters as there’s no-one watching LOL!

Thing about it is we worked on this house for a year – every day I came home from work at the hospital and worked till 1AM or later. When we moved in everything was clean, painted, repaired, somewhat new. All the things we brought from the old house were washed, overhauled etc. before they came in. I’ve wanted to keep that feeling since then. I know it’s not reasonable but I try anyway.

On the flip side I can exist in total stupid chaos with or without all my ‘stuff’. One holiday family vacation our clothes were left upstairs at the house; I borrowed some from my SIL and bought Walmart undies. Another vacation all of our toiletries were left behind (notice how I kindly don’t lay blame); I wish that had been a lesson learned in how to travel lighter i.e. both trips were wonderful without the baggage. I saw a Michael Kosta clip from one of his comedy acts – packing the car for a road trip since folks aren’t flying as much; from the Detroit Free Press: “Bring it! We’re driving!,” shouts Kosta as he assumes the roles of a married couple packing an SUV. “‘Honey, should I bring the blender?’ Yes! We’re driving. I may want to make fresh tomato soup this weekend. ‘What about the treadmill?’ It’s already packed. We’re driving. We’re driving! ‘Two thousand and five tax returns?’ Of course! What if the accountant calls?” That be me. We either vacation in Airb&b, VRBO or my brother’s time share properties; I don’t like eating out other than a lunch or two so I bring crockpots, herbs & spices and all my favorite kitchen tools. Not to mention provisions, since my frugal nature doesn’t appreciate buying basics at higher cost.

Apropos of nothing, my little fruitcake is 30 years old this year. Dare I say Happy New Year?